1. Patiently and closely listen when they talk, without interrupting, judging, and try to make eye contact. V seems to value this.
  2. Keep a diary of my thoughts about being a mother
  3. Don’t ignore them, be shocked by their feelings, or pity them. The goal is to show them that their mother am a safe person to talk to who is interested in them.
  4. Pay attention to moods, body language, shifts in friendships, and grades.
  5. Help children focus on their feelings by not sharing my feelings to much with them unless they ask. Most kids are egocentric and will listen to your feelings and try to figure out how it relates to them without deciding whether or not to take it personally. Children doesn’t understand adult problems and probably can’t do anything about them anyway. They may come to resent a parent for talking too freely about their feelings while they are trying to figure out how to express their own feelings.
  6. Have confidence and be committed to talking to our boys in a gentle (not impatient) and consistent manner.
  7. Help sons identify, express, and figure out healthy ways of expressing emotion (angry, frustrated, sad happy, anxious. Tell child it’s ok to feel angry etc., but not to act on this emotion by throwing things, but can go to room to do something such as play music or punch punching bag.)
  8. Know that my love for our sons is unique and that no one can replace that in their life even as they grow up and move away to form other healthy relationships with their significant other and, possibly, their own families one day..
  9. Show our sons how to love by showing love towards others. This is kind of difficult to do right now as we aren’t really able to be around other people very much due to COVID-19. I hope to be more social later on as they grow older and teach them how to love others.
  10. Show sons that they are loved by spending quality time with them: playing board and video games with them, riding bike with them, throwing ball with them, watch movie with them. Boys often tend to enjoy showing affection more by doing things together than by verbal communication.
  11. Consistently initiate gestures of love with sons (Say I love you before bed or whenever it’s a good time. Kiss on the cheek when others aren’t looking. Pat on back. Tossel hair. Give hug without fear of rejection.)
  12. Don’t be afraid to seek help when needed. Boys tend to look to their father for approval and support, not their mother. They tend to rely on their mother to be emotionally there for them and strongly believe that she will be.
  13. Encourage sons to seek knowledge and truth by teaching them about how the virtues apply to their lives.

I’m certain that I’m not a perfect mother, but I think that these are good things to strive to do in order to help my sons grow to be the men that they want to become. I will strive to be strong and do these things for them to the best of my ability, and will, also, always love them just as they are. I pray that they will always know, no matter what, they are loved, are worthy of love, and how to love.

I love being a mother to my boys and love them. I’ll probably come up with some more ideas to add to this list later. That’s all for now.